Expectations

One of the major factors affecting father's rights in BiH are general expectations, by both the father, as well as the mother. It is conventional wisdom in BiH that custody of children should be given to the mother, and the father should be allowed to see them every second weekend, usually for 24 hours, and sometimes less.

Where did this "standard" come from? Nowhere.

As long as both parents live in the same city, and the child can have an otherwise uninterrupted life outside of the home (regular attendance at the same school, contact with the same group of friends, ect.), all the scientific evidence points towards the fact that shared parenting is in the best interest of the child.

Have you ever asked yourself why a child shouldn't be allowed, to, say, spend a Tuesday night with a father? As long as the father can take him to school the next day why is that a problem?

Have you ever asked yourself why, for example, a child couldn't spend every weekend with the father? The whole weekend? Both days?

The only real answer as to why fathers accept to see their child every other weekend, is because "that's the way it is".

Claiming the earth was round used to guarantee you were burned on a stake. It was an accepted fact that owning slaves was a reasonable and efficient way to run a business. It used to be acceptable that women shouldn't vote.

So why is it OK to deny children access to their father?

"Because that's the way we do things" is not an acceptable answer.

If you ever find yourself in the unfortunate situation that your marriage is at an end, don't accept conventional wisdom. Don't accept that it is "normal' to see your children every fifteen days.

Your children will be forever greatful that you were there, after school, helping them with their homework.

They will never forget the times you took them to buy a new pair of shoes.

Make a habit of giving your children a bath, cook them a special dinner, read them a book, or play a game with them (my son loves chess).

Show them that you are capable, and willing, to help them grow into happy adults.

Tell your ex that you expect to share the burdens, and pleasures, of raising the children. Tell her that your children deserve to be with both parents. Tell the same thing to the social services. Tell the same thing to the judge. Keep repeating this over and over again.

They will listen, because the world is no longer flat.